Kiss it all better
by Ladymischief09
Summary: "He sees a smoking gun and the coward he ran, and in his arms is the bleeding love of his life" by he is we. What made cal the person he is today and how rose doesn't understand him. A story of how cal lost the love of his life before he even met rose.


**AN: Hey guys, so i know i should be working on my other story 'The ship of broken dreams' but i just had to write this one shot! It was inspired by the song 'kiss it all better' by he is we. And again, i own nothing! All the characters and the song belongs to their rightful owner! Okay everyone enjoy!**

* * *

**One shot. Kiss it all better.**

Cal wasn't always the control freak rose took him for. Before he became the man he is now, before he met rose he was so different. He used to laugh without that acidic tone in his voice, used to smile without the well practiced control he now often show. Rose cant understand him, cant understand why each night before he goes to sleep he would stare at the small clock on the mantle and adjust the time to 12:59, couldn't understand why some nights he would shut her out and lock himself in his room, quietly sobbing with a bottle of whisky in his hand, drinking till he's no longer sober. Rose didn't care, she just wondered.

During those nights when cal drank himself to sleep he would always dream; he'd always see a gun and smoke in the crisp autumn air, the image of a young woman lying in a pool of her own blood, her skin so pale, would haunt him each night. He remembers the scent of dried leaves and her sweet perfume mingling with the scent of her spilled blood. His hands smeared with the same blood.

* * *

_She was so pale, she looked almost translucent. Her fiery red curls now matted with a darker shade of red as she laid in a pool of her own blood, her breathing shallow, her pretty satin dress now dirty with red stains. He stood there, his eyes wide with shock and fear until he fell on his knees beside her, his crisply ironed trousers being stained by blood but he didn't care. He scooped her up in his arms, cradling her shaking body to his firm chest._

_"No,no,no..." Cal muttered repeatedly. His brown eyes brimming with tears as the coward who shot the love of his life ran. Cal shook his head, his hair falling into his dark brown eyes. She smiled at him._

_"I-its alright... Its alright..." Her voice was raspy "i-i-im fine..." Slowly she reached up to his face, her blood stained hand trailed his cheeks._

_"No! I-I'm sorry... Im sorry, i couldn't protect you" he said, his voice quivered as the tears slowly fell from his eyes._

_She shook her head, a small smile on her lips but tears streaked down her cheeks "its n-not your fault love... Y-you didn't know" she gazed at his handsome face etched with sorrow and panic, then she stared up at the sky above his head. There are so many stars tonight._

_"No, nothings alright! I need to get help" he said helplessly "HELP! Anybody! Help! Anybody... Somebody, please..." He yelled desperately but they were alone on the cold and dark cobble stone street in the autumn air._

_"No... Look, its f-fine, its just a s-scratch, Cal" she held his hand and looked into his dark eyes "Im sure you can kiss it all better...like you always do" she said, her voice only a mere whisper but he heard it as if it was being echoed in his ears. He kissed her face and her lips and her hair. He cried as he did so._

_"Yes, of course. I'll kiss it better" he said to her, smiling as he cried. She laughed weakly but blood started coming out of her mouth as she coughed. Cal wiped away the spots of red from her lips with his thumb._

_"Yes... T-thats better, but i'm cold...cal, i'm cold" she rasped and cal hugged her closer to him. "I think i'm a bit tired, i'm going to sleep for a while" she said sadly "Cal, i'm not ready to go..."_

_"No, everything will be alright. You're not going anywhere" he cried "rest now, you're just tired" he said with a sad chuckle. She nodded and closed her eyes._

_"Stay with me until i fall asleep" she said and caressed his strong jaw "I love you Caledon, always and forever" she said and cal felt his heart crumbling and dying in his chest._

_"I love you too... More than life itself" he said to her and kissed her lips softly._

_She shook her head weakly and opened her glacier blue eyes that are now slowly loosing its spark "no... Love your life more than you love me" cal shook his head._

_"I cant" he said but she hushed him._

_"Promise me cal! Promise me that you won't give up... While i sleep, i want you to stay awake and live. Find someone... (Cough) find her... That one person that you'll spend your life with (cough) and when i wake up we'll see each other again" she smiled and he held her cheek in his trembling hand._

_"I promise" he said and she closed her eyes until her hand fell limp from his face, she gasped one last time and she was gone "forever and always" cal whispered then sobbed against her pale chest. He hugged her limp body against him and he felt utterly lost. Cal yelled and screamed at the sky as the stars twinkled by, a single diamond falling from the sky. He noticed the gun lying on the ground and he felt the anguish rise in his chest. He stood up and held the gun in his hand._

_"I'll avenge you my love" he said to her as if she was only sleeping._

_He found the coward who took the love of his life away from him, but a bullet to the heart of the man who killed her didn't bring her back. It only killed Cal all the more inside. It hardened his heart and he swore to never again let the love of his life slip away from him._

_Now she sleeps among the stars._

* * *

So rose doesn't understand why he holds on to her too tightly or why he insists on having Lovejoy always following her. She dismisses it as his obscene obsession with control but he was only trying to avoid repeating the past. But she doesn't understand so on the night she met jack on the Titanic she instantly fell for him and discarded cal.

But she was never her, rose could never replace her. She only resembled her. The same red hair and fiery spirit. But rose was not her.

And when the Titanic sank to the bottom of the atlantic he lost rose to a common steerage rat. So until the love of his life wakes up again he'll hold on to her memory. But... Its only a memory.

And on the nights where he is alone by the fireplace he would always think "All because i couldn't kiss it all better"


End file.
